Like most people, you tend to go from one conversation to another throughout the day and you really don’t give it much thought. Sometimes, you may even find yourself in the middle of a rather unusual conversation and when you walk away, you regret that you didn’t speak up and say what was on your mind.
Some of us avoid doing so because we want to be polite but others just are a little too shy to speak up every time you have something funny come to your mind. You may not want to hurt somebody’s feelings or perhaps you don’t want to look like an idiot in front of others. When you do speak up, however, it can be a very funny situation. That was the case with this man, and you will laugh when you hear what he said.
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco’s store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I’d lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I’m now banned from Tesco’s.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.