Author: admin

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school.

Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school. Son: Well, all the students hate me… and… All the teachers hate me… and… I just don’t wanna go to school! Mom: Well, I have a lot to do today, and I can’t take care of you today… Two, you are over 40-years-old… And three, you are the principal.

On a gentle Sunday morning, the sun casting soft hues of summer, Linda grappled with emotions surrounding her son, Mike’s, estrangement. After abandoning financial responsibilities for his family, Mike distanced himself when Linda chose to support her daughter-in-law, Jane, and their son with Down syndrome, Tommy. Recently learning of Mike’s second marriage, Linda, determined to be part of this significant day, planned a surprise attendance, despite the strained relationship.

In a picturesque garden, rows of white chairs framed a floral arch as Mike recited wedding vows, oblivious to the impending surprise. Linda, concealed behind a tree, stepped forward with Tommy, captivating the guests. Mike, astonished, faltered as his mother and son approached. Linda handed Tommy to Mike, tears welling in his eyes at the reunion. Linda, her voice filled with love, reminded Mike of Tommy’s right to paternal love. Mike’s new bride, understanding the gravity, stepped aside, allowing space for family reconnection. Tearfully nodding, Mike embraced Tommy, silently promising to be the father he should have been. Linda, having delivered her message, watched as her son, grandson, and Mike’s new wife formed a newfound family bond—a moment of unexpected reunion, forgiveness, and the start of a new chapter in their lives.

He said…. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said…. You wear pants don’t you? He said….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said….. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said…. Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said….. Why are married women heavier than single women? single women? She said….. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

A WIFE WITH 7TH SENSE A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things.

Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!” The wife noticed that there’s something fishy in her husband’s story but since she was a good wife she listened to her husband and did exactly as he told her. After a week the husband returned home, looking a bit tired but happy to have done a good job. The wife immediately started asking about the weekend, how it was, if he’d caught any fish and so on. The husband said: “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my blue silk pyjamas?” To which the wife responded: “I
did….. They’re in your fishing box”.

She Was Stunned With Her Kids Behavior Towards The Server. How She Taught Them A Lesson Is Genius. So… I am the meanest mom ever… Like… Ever. Took the kids to Dairy Queen after dinner. They ordered their dessert choices and we waited about 5 minutes for them to call out our number. The young lady (maybe 17) handed each child their ice cream. Not one looked her in the eye.

Not one said thank you. Not to her, not to me… So I waited. I counted to 10 in my head as they dug into their ice cream and the young lady just looked at me (probably because she thought I was hearing voices) and I watched as my children strolled out the door. I followed them outside where I calmly collected their ice creams and my kids watched in horror as I deposited them into the nearby garbage can. All 3 launched into mass hysteria. I waited. Quiet. Calm. When they realized I had something to say, they quieted down. I explained that one day, if they were lucky, they would work a job like that young lady. And I would hope that people would see them. Really see them. Look them in the eye and say thank you. We are too old at 8/7/5 to move through our days without exercising manners and honestly basic human decency. So today, I am the meanest mom in the world.

As a trucker stops at a red light, a woman catches up… She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Karen and you’re losing some of your load. “At the next red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the woman gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again, she says “Hi, my name is Karen, and you are losing some of your load! window. Again, she says “Hi, my name is Karen, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he gets out of the truck and runs back to the woman’s car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter in lowa and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

A REDNECK LOVE POEM SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY ‘BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU’LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.

I’D JUST AS SOON YO’ MA DON’T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO’ HALF BROTHER. SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL. BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, ‘THERE’S TROUBLE STILL! YOU CAN’T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON’T TELL YO’ MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO’ I KNOW IS YO’ HALF BROTHER. BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO’ HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN’T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today.

You must park…” then the electric power goes out. Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through? “With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves.

The husband says, “No chance love, they’re way too expensive. “Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and lower on to her thigh to her thigh. She turns to him and says. “I don’t think so mate. If you’re not prepared to shoe the horse then you sure as hell ain’t riding it!”

According to the younger generation, my mama and daddy were apparently abusive to us when we were children. We were scared to get in trouble. They made us do household jobs, go to church, and go to school. Gave us a curfew and whooped our bottom when we did wrong, they even made us go get the switch that they used on us.

They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it. They put clothes on our backs and we were expected to wear them. They expected to wear them. They suggested we get a job and work for the things that we wanted. They insisted that we do our best at school, at our job, and to take pride in our work. We grew up with morals, a good work ethic, and respect for the law & our elders. I thank God everyday for my Mama and Daddy!!!